Too Much Lifetime Movie Network

TMZ is reporting that the Long Island hospital where J-Lo is planning to crap out her twinlets has been reportedly practicing "code pink" drills in precaution of a J-Lo babynapping.



Why doesn't she just have her vampire husband, Marc Anthony, circle the hospital and bite the neck of any would be baby burglers. That'll stop them.

J Lo Ready to Explode

Oh my god, look at Jennifer Lopez!!

Mamma is ready to burst like a swolen balloon or my anus after a night of McDonalds with a Taco Bell chaser.

Seriously, I love the idea that instead of going into labor, J Lo's tummy will just explode and out will pop her little twins along with whatever else she has in there. Hmm... I wonder what a J Lo explosion would look like?????

Warning! Warning!

Abortions in America are at an ALL TIME LOW!

According the AP News: "The number of abortions in the United States fell to 1.2 million in 2005, down 25 percent from the all-time high of 1.6 million in 1990 and dropping the abortion rate to its lowest level since 1974, according to report issued Thursday." (read full article here)

I must say, I'm a little disappointed in all you sluts out there. I mean, this is the lowest abortions have been since 1974 people. What does this say to the world? What does this say to our children?

People of America, are you prepared for all the babies that are coming your way? What are we going to do with all these babies? Feed them to the homeless? Sigh, I just don't know anymore.

I blame Hollywood. What with all the baby making going on out there and celebrities giving birth left and right. They're setting a terrible example for the sluts of this country.

It's a conspiracy I tell you, a conspiracy- corrupting the morally corrupt (not to mention population control).