Straight Off the Runways of Staten Island

So just two posts down you can read my rant about how much I HATE when people wear comfy "travel" clothes, like velour jump suits, or PJs, or UGGS when they travel on an airplane. Well if you disagreed with me, and you don't think that people who wear UGGS or velour jump suits should be shot and removed from the airport, then I guess you have the same logic and mental capacity as this tramp:

Yup, that's Paris Hilton arriving in NYC looking cheaper than a sale at Forever 21. And is that Paris's nylon duffel bag that that bitch in the red sweater is carrying? As if the whole ensemble couldn't get any cheaper looking. For a girl who once claimed that she didn't know what a WalMart was, she certainly has the whole look down.

Sick of seeing people from New Jersey, Staten Island, and Long Island wearing their "travel" velour jumpsuit when boarding the airplane? (Seriously, I hate when people who travel wear "travel" comfort clothes, like pj bottoms and UGGS, as if because they have to sit in a plane seat for a few hours, it suddenly becomes okay to dress like you're home watching Liftetime because it's a heavy flow day and you got serious cramps.) Well worry no more, you can now fly naked... well in Germany at least:

"FRANKFURT (Reuters) - German nudists will be able to start their holidays early by stripping off on the plane if they take up a new offer from an eastern German travel firm.
Travel agency OssiUrlaub.de said it would start taking bookings from Friday for a trial nudist day trip from the eastern German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom, planned for July 5 and costing 499 euros ($735).
"It's expensive, I know," managing director Enrico Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's because the plane's very small. There's no real reason why a flight in which one flies naked should be more expensive than any other.
The 55 passengers will have to remain clothed until they board, and dress before disembarking, said Hess. The crew will remain clothed throughout the flight for safety reasons.
"I wish I could say we thought of it ourselves but the idea came from a customer," Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's an unusual gap in the market."
Naturism, or "free body culture" (FKK) as it is known in Germany, was banned by the Nazis but blossomed again after the Second World War, particularly in eastern Germany.
"There are FKK hotels where you can go into the restaurants and shops naked, for example," Hess said. "For FKK fans -- not that I'm one of them -- it's nothing unusual."
"I don't want people to get the wrong idea. It's not that we're starting a swinger club in mid-air or something like that," he added. "We're a perfectly normal holiday company."

Jeez, I hope for the sake of the passengers, there isn't a lot of turbulence. All that ball, penis, and boobie flopping can start to get painful after a while, especially when they're all just hanging out all loosey goosey. That's why I always wear a jock strap while traveling!

I feel bad for these flight attendants. True, flight attendants are giant whores by nature who get their rocks off in the airport bathroom. But you know that most of the people who ride this flight are old men whose balls sag down to their knees, and women with spiderwebs and dust bunnies growing in their cooters and boobs that droop to their belly button.

She Wants to be Popular

The Cheno was tromping around LA this past weekend, looking pretty hot for a 40 year old musical theater actress.

After hitting the pavement and drinking a 40 ounce for a while, Kristen then took her best pap friends shopping, because, you know, we all want a camera crew with us when we try on clothing.

Now, I know musical theater performers aren't known for their subtelty, but if this photo op was any more staged, it could win a Tony.

P.S.
Please hang that dress back up. It looks like an organza garbage bag. Thanks.

Is This Better?

So everytime I see a photo of Lindsay Lohan she's wearing tights.

Tights in the morning, tights in the evening, tights in the afternoon. Tights for breakfast, tights for lunch, tights for dinner underneath the moon.

Now obviously I'm not the first one to realize this, and there has been many a cry across the Internet for La Lohan to please stop wearing tights; to which I have to say:

Is this so much better?

Um... unless you're running out of the dressing room to grab the next pants size up, this look is not okay.