Best Comedy Video Ever

So, I introduced you a little while back to the web gem, GodTube.com. It's the cookoo Christian answer to YouTube. You know, boring, bizarre, out of touch, and full of inadvertent humor. This video below is hi-larious. It's completely off, sort of confusing, and proof that I made the right choice to turn my shoulder on the old J-dog.


I mean, who are we supposed to be afraid of here??? The Evangelists? The non-believers? Either way I love it. I think my favorite is the wife who's all doped up on prescription pills, and who looks like she has a micro-chip wedged into her brain. Break free lady, get into a three way, and smoke some dope.

Someone Stop This Fool

So one of my first posts was about this queertastic fool hanging out at JFK airport to meet Katherin Heigl to give her some shit to help her quit smoking. I noted then that he had, what I call, Borough gay voice, which sort of sounds like Lea Remini, just less butch.
Well apparently this fool has nothing better to do than spend his days at the airport harassing the worst of the worst. First it was the Heigl, who I can't tolerate for even one moment.
Then it was this mess:

Unless he's trying to steal that hat away and burn it, then he shouldn't even be aknowledging this bovine.
Then it was this skank who I just posted about below:

See him in the corner. He probably gave Paris those fugly sunglasses.
And here he is with James Gandolfini:

And here he is with James Gandolfini trying to smash his face in:

And here he is with James Gandolfini ready to choke him before his publicist/lawyer/agent person stops him:

Seriously, if I was Tony Soprano, I totally would have beaten the living shit out of that kid, and that eaten him for dinner.
You need to check out the video on TMZ from where these stills were taken. I think my favorite part is not that James pulls a Bjork and almost out of nowhere kills this kid. It's how different this boy sounds when he's talking to James from how he sounded in the Katherine Heigl encounter. Talk about trying to butch it up for the straighties.

My New Hero

Meet my new hero Peter Burkhill. He was recently hailed a hero in the real sense of the word, after he saved a bunch a passengers by performing an emergency air landing. Click here to read the entire article from News of the World. But you know those Brits love their scandals and these pictures of Peter partying during his younger years have emerged:

Ah, here's Peter getting some chocolate licked off of his Peter (yummy!)
And below is my personal favorite pic of the bunch:

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!! Any man who sticks twizzlers up his ass is more than alright by me. This is some kinky-ass candy shit. Seriously- do you think the girls used that twizzler as a straw and sipped up his butt juices. EWWWW.
Well Peter, if the scandal gets to much for you to handle you can always come to New York and perform an emergency landing on my bed!!!

THANK YOU GOD

Now for the most part I pretty much assumed that God abandoned my skank ass a long time ago, and that's cool- I really don't need someone so judgemental hanging over all my business. But anyway, it seems that God really does love me, and has therefore blessed me with GODTUBE. Have you heard of this??? It's the Christian answer to YouTube, and it's brilliant. Seriously, it's hysterical in that creepy, out-of-touch, cult-like God obsessed way.
Below is a video created by Dan Smith while he was working at New Life Christian Church (Centreville, VA) for a Sunday morning sermon- and it's a little bit of sunshine.

My favorite has to be the nasty bitch at the start of the video, that face, that hair, that voice...heaven. Oh, also, the comments below the videos are just fantastic. Here are a few of my favorites. Oh, and people- this video was made in like 2007.

From drich
Thought this was great. It refocused the world attention on women's body parts to the woman's heart part. Thank you- drich
um...I'm glad you think that the WORLD is listening

From HolyGhost
You are all straying away from the conversation, of Gods plan of salvation the way the bible.
You tell them HolyGhost

From bornagainmikeyaygod
God has a sense of humor and how are we supposed to win converts if we can't make them laugh in a positive way? This is a good thing.
Winning converts? Everyone hide!

My New Idol

So tonight's episode of American Idol featured one of my FAVORITE CONTESTANTS EVER. This kid is just cook-a-loo crazy, and I love every ounce of his ridiculous self. I'm being completely sincere here.

I promise I'll find video of him and post a comp of why I love him oh so much. In the meanwhile enjoy this photo of the fabulous Jeffery Lampkin:

No Fred, God Hates You!

I'm sure by now you all have read the reports that Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church have made plans to travel to Australia to picket outside of Heath Ledger's funeral. Below is a copy of the press release:

Now, this might be one of the most disturbing and disgusting things I have ever read, but I have a feeling that the people of Australia will know EXACTLY how to deal with these hillbilly hate mongers.

Christian Cook-a-loo

So, more often than not, we get to hear the crazy rantings of the Christian Cook-a-loo. What's a Christian Cook-a-loo you ask? Why it's a breed of Christians who believe the craziest shit in the world- and won't stop until you all believe it too.

Meet Christian Cook-a-loo, Joe Taylor:


Now in addition to being a print model, Joe Taylor is the director and curator of the Mt. Blanco Fossil Museum. Sounds smart, right? Wrong! He'S a CHRISTIAN COOK-A-LOO people, and NOTHING they say is ever smart.

Joe Taylor founded his museum to "show you why we do not believe that the evolution theory or the millions of years concept is good science".

Well what does Taylor believe- that humans and dinosaurs lived together, in fact, he claims Noah even took one on that little cruise of his.

Joe Taylor is currently in need of some money to support his museum (what no government grants??- this is Texas for crying-out-loud- don't they actually teach this shit down there?), so he's selling the skull of a mastodon in hopes it will raise some money to keep his institution of knowledge open.

I have some advice for Joe, call up Tom Cruise and tell him it's the skull of some ancient alien- he'll totally buy it for like a million dollars.

I say we're better off giving our money to hookers rather than this fool. I mean that's what Jesus would do, right?